Everywhere I look there I am

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

So Much for Secrets

So I thought this blog club was supposed to be a secret society, if you will. Well, apparently not anymore. Now that I have been called out via the "net" I have decided to update this little thing we call a "blog". Well not much has been happening in my life since I last talked to you, Heather, sinc youa re the only one who reads this damn thing. But I shall fill you in on the smallest of small details just to keep you at bay for a little while! Last night, Jason and I went to HEB and we bought the stuffed Flounder form the seafood section. It was really good, I'm not gonna lie! Then we went home made a some rice, and a salad and cooked the tasty little morsels they called flounders. Delicious. Then we laid on the couch and watched The Sheild then went to bed. Not too terribly exciting but I am okay with that. I suppose that is the price you pay when you dive head first into a relationship. He did say something that kind of disturbed me a bit, though. He said I was an addiction. Aren't those bad for you? You always hear about the people with an alcohol addiction...bad, or a gambling addiction...also bad, or a caffeine addiction...once again bad....So what I'm saying here is that he is essentially calling me a bad habit that needs to be put under some sort of control. Does that mean, that once someone has to an intervention and tells him that I am killing him, he is just going to toss me away like a used papertowel? I don't know if I would really appreciate that. Although as soon as those little words escaped his lips, the sensible half of me took it as a compliment, because I'm sure that is how he meant it, but then the neurotic part of me wanted to start probing his reasoning and ask him why in God's name he would say such a thing!!!! But I did not, I just laid there and pretended to take it like the compliment it was intended to be. See heather, this is what my days are filled with...Taking words he says to me that are supposed to be nice and sweeet and twisting them into ugly, malicious remarks that leave me wondering when he is going to realize who I really am and end up high-tailiing it out of here. Isn't love wonderful!!!! I could shoot the person who came up with that. I think I'm a little over dramatic, maybe a little too protective of myself these days, but other than that I am wonderful and happy!

Thursday, January 13, 2005

I'm a winner

At least I was on Tuesday. I won a gift certificate to Chili's because I requested a song. That was cool. Too bad I can't eat chili's for like another five weeks or so, maybe not even then. You see I am on the South Beach Diet, which will give me a South Beach Florida body here in a couple more weeks. I've already lost 8 pounds! How cool is that!?!?! I'm so excited. Anywayz, yoga is interesting. It is a lot of strtching and holding positions. Looks easy, but is not, I repeat, is not easy. I sweated like a mad man in there. Like I said before it was interesting.
What is the deal with all these people calling, and wanting me to work? I'm trying to shop on the internet! Geez. Anywayz, this is a rather odd story. Back in April I had gotten my first job in Austin. My boss was hot, and I liked him as soon as I laid eyes on the prick. Well as you might have figured from the above refernce he turned out to be an asshole, but I'm getting ahead of myself here. So I get hired on St. Patty's day. I am new to Austin, so my boss invites me out with him and some of his buddies. Well I get plastered, as usual. I end up hooking up with him, and not remembering. Well to say the least I only worked there for roughly about a month or so. The job sucked ass, and my boss was an arrogant son-of-a-bitch. Let me explain this job to you first before I go any further. It was an outsourcing job for AT&T. I went around and cold called busineses and tried to pressure them into switching their phone service. You can imagine some of the responses I got. It was bad for my health, being told NO so often, so I decide to quit. Another one of the guys had a territory that was close to mine. Well by this point I already knew that I was going to quit, so I had him meet me for lunch. I decided I didn't want to work that day, so I went and got a pedicure, and drove around. I convinced him, Scott, that we should get a 12 pack and go sit down by Lake Travis until we had to go check in at work @ 6. Well we end up getting shitfaced. When we go back to work, we both get yelled at for not signing anyone. Well the next day, I decide not to go to work. When I finally show up at like 1 o'clock to give back all my shit, my boss told me that I was a brat and that I needed this job to learn how to be told no, because apparently I needed to hear it more often. What kind of shit is that?!?!? I don' tlike to be told no, and I don't need to learn how to handle being told no, because, frankly, I just don't hear it that often. (Okay, so maybe the brat part was correct, but what the hell nerve does someone have to have to tell me this after only knowing me for like 2 months?) Well that was the last time I talked to him until yesterday. He emailed me to get my new address so he could send me my W2. He asked how I was and all that, so I emailed him back and said I was great and that I hoped business was going well for him, and then gave him my home address. Well, I thought that would be the end of that, but when I open my email this AM, there is another email from him. The email was 3 words long: You miss me. He is the biggest arrogant pompous ass I have ever met. I want to email him back with something so degrading it makes him melt to the floor, but I don't know what to say.....any suggestions?

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

not very good at this "technology" thing

So I was going to post and include pictures, but instead I have like 5 different posts for 5 different pictures. I don't really know exactly how this whole thing works, but I am getting more and more used to it! Anywayz, date went good, but I got sick and had to leave an hour into it. That kind of sucked but he understood. Well I have to go x-mas shopping, which is rather difficult because everytime I go to get something for someone else I end up getting it for me. What can you do? Oh, good news, I finally bought my tickets to Vegas for Feb.! YEAH!!!!

Me and Jen at Wurstfest Posted by Hello

Thursday, December 16, 2004

The Long Lost Blog

I have a date tonight, but not just any date...a blind date. Even scarier than it being a blind date, is that fact that my mother has been the catalyst of this date. Is it doomed for failure? I don't want to think so, but it is quite possible. Mom has different tastes than do I. Nonetheless this should be interesting. His name is Jay and he lives in New Braunfels. All I know about him is that he is tall, sandy blonde hair, with hazel eyes. So far so good, but I'm still worried about his build, personality, stamina j/k:), but I guess only time will tell...and that will be tongiht!
I'm really scared though...What if I think I like him, what if he doesn't like me or vice-versa? What if he calls me tomorrow and wants to start dating me? I don't think I'm capable of dating anyone right now. Okay, I have to slow down, and take deep breathes, I am getting way too worked up right now.
So to take my mind off of things, Let me tell you about Danny. Danny is from NB, I have known him since my freshman year of college. He is sweet and funny. His laugh is contagious, just for the pure fact that it is hilarious. It so high pitched and just so different. He is absolutley adorable, and I like him a lot, the only problem is that I find it so hard to let myself be nice(Unless we are alone, of course). I won't call him, in fact I refuse to call him. I don't want to put myself out there to be hurt and rejected. I don't/can't handle rejection, so in my mind the easiest thing to do is reject everyone before they have a chnace to reject you. I know that is a fucked up way of looking at things, but it is what I have resorted to. I have a deep underlying fear of, well....people. I have a fear that no man will ever love me as much as my ex-boyfriend did. I have a fear that I will never love anyone more than I loved John. With all the love we had, we still failed so it seems to me that everything is eventual. It will all fail, so why give effort just to lose?
On to a better subject...I bought my plane fare to Vegas today for Feburary. It is going to my roommate Lori, our best friend Jennifer, and myself. We are going for 4 nights and 3 days. I can't wait.Speaking of Vegas, Lori and I were watching TV last night, when I started to think about the last time I went to Vegas. I met the most amazing guy there. His name was Ryan and the way he looked at me, I don't think I've ever had anyone look at me with quite as much depth as he did. It went by so fast. We met and hung ot the entire night. He walked me back to my door and we started making out like little teenagers. It was the first time I had ever kissed a guy with a beard and mustache. The next night, I met him out with his roommate and his roommate's girlfriend. He had already told them all about me! We hung out that night as well until I had to take off to catch my plane. We had the most amazing time, just talking and enjoying each other. I know it sounds stupid but that trist meant so much. I remember at one point before I left, he just stared into my eyes, and said that he would never forget the way my curls fell around my face. It is so cheesy but that was the last time I actually believed a guy when he said that I was beautiful. I know....I have guy issues, but anywayz, so I started thinking about him, and I rememebered that he was making a movie and he was a grip of some sort. So I googled him....and I found him. Picture and all. I still have his number somewhere, but I don't think I'll ever make it around to calling him. Don't know what the point of that was, but now I must get back to life instead of memories, and yes...my blind date is going to be here soon, so I must run along and get ready.
Wish me Well.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Tree Frogs really are adorable.....

So here I am once again sitting in front of my computer at work and completely bored! Tomorrow is my laast day, and I must say that I'm not as apprehensive about the change as I originally thought...In fact, I am kind of excited about it. I can't wait to start working with Janice, my immediate boss. She is a bad-ass. She is 46 but looks to be in her mid-thirties. She just got divorced not so long ago, so now she is making up for lost time. She is cool and quarky and very honest! I appreciate honesty because there seems to be a great lack of it around me and everything these days. Every guy I know has lied, and, in some cases, is continuing to do so. Why, I ask, why? Anywayz, that would be a whole different rant that I just don't feel like going on today! Back to my work. I actually am going to miss a few people from here, though, like Sammy and Danielle. Sammy is a one of those colol weirdos, who can make you laugh just by looking at you. Danielle, is 20, and she goes to TU, UT to the non-aggies out there. She reminds me a little of myself when I was still in school. She makes me want to go back to school so I can study and play hard. Actually not much of studying but more of the playing part. But oh well, life goes on. I'll probably never talk to them again, but I wish all of them the best of luck.
Well tonight I venture into the land of speed dating once again. My roommate and I went to an 8 minute dating event about a month ago. The only reason I ended up having a good time was because each date Lori and I came together to either A) make fun of the guys we had just talked to B) get another drink, or more than likely C) Both of the above. Well at that event the organizer tried to get me to go out with him, but I politely refused (can't be rude right to his face). Well he emailed Lori and I and gave us free passes for tonight's event. We decided what the hell, so we are going to make the trip downtown tonight at 7. I'll definately let yall know how it went...It should be interesting.
Speaking of guys. I met a cute guy on Friday night, or at least in my drunken stuppor he was cute. I don't really remember his name, but as far as I can remember he was a good kisser. I decided looking back at this weekend that I was just in the mood to kiss people. I didn't get any lovin', which is a good thing, but I got some smooches, and that is always nice for a girls self-esteem. Well I don't feel like typing this damn thing anymore, so b-bye.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Going to Dallas?

Yesterday as I was leaving work, I got a phone call from new employer who said that him and a few of my new co-workers were going to go out to a restaurant for a drink and some eats, and wanted to know if I would like to go. Hmmm....free food and drinks, I think to myself.....I'm in. So I go and end up having two gin and sprites and about 6 Rolling Rocks. A little tipsy I did get. Well I came home and threw on some clothes real fast and was swept off to Dallas Nightclub. We get there and of course I have no cash, so I ask the doorman how much cover was. 5 dollars was his reply, but instead of making us pay he let us slide in another door. That was very nice of him. Well, already a bit tipsy, I get full out drunk. Whilst in the middle of people watching someone grabs my arm from behind, and says my name. I turn to see a familiar face that I thought, or hoped, I would never have to lay eyes on again. It was dirty Steve from College Station. I met him while I was working at Bourban Street Bar and Grill. He was one of those guys that had a little money and loved to throw it around. He bought me Cristal champagne and let me drive his new H2 at some point when I was living in C.S. It was fun, but I didn't like him and he was ugly. So I eventually just stopped talking to him after I quit working at the bar. Well I see him last night, and he gives me this big hug. I turned to my roommate to tell her to put away her money because we are not paying for another thing. Ends up he goes to buy me a pack of cigarettes and got like 5 dollars worth of quarters. Well the machine did not take quarters, only dollars. So he turns and pours the quarters into my purse then pulls out a 5 and continues on his trek to buy me a pack of cigarettes. Afterwards, he turns to look at me and asks, "Who's up for some shots?" Of course I was and so was Lori, my roommate. So we go to the bar and take a few shots and have a few drinks. At this point the night starts to get a bit hazy, but I do remember at some point, Steve going to the bathroom and us leaving. All in all the night turned out well, and now I am dying from a hellacious hangover. Thank God I don't have to work today!

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Title has been removed to protect the innocent

Last night on the way home I decided to stop at a bar that is right by where I live. (Sidebar: It's called Rhinos n Jocks. It's a seedy little place but most small places like that are). So I walk up and I sit at the bar, and yes I am alone. I'm sitting there less than 2 minutes when this guy decides that I don't need or want, for that matter, to be sitting alone, when in fact the truth is exactly the opposite of his assumption. Well he proceedes to strike up a very unintelligent conversation about the finer points of the wonderfully tasting bud light. As usual I try to be nice and engage in his conversation, for about a minute we have a nice discussion, then I turn to watch Poker. I like poker, and I like to watch poker, but apparently a girl is not supposed to know the finer points of the game. Needless to say the poor bastard lost to me in a game of Texas Hold 'em. To all men out there: Girls have just as analytical brains, if not more so, then men do, and yes we understand games of sport, and we can probably beat you.
BTW, NONE CAN UNDERSTAND YOU WHEN YOU MUMBLE UNDER YOUR BREATH, so please don't expect me to respond with a coherent answer! Thanks and have a GREAT day!